Takeaway 3: Grit

    The last main takeaway I gained from Parenting Skills is grit. Grit is a valuable trait in children. Grit will allow children to thrive socially, emotionally, academically, spiritually, and physically. Grit is the ability to persistently work despite facing setbacks or challenges. Gritty children love learning. They love being challenged. They appreciate a good challenge. They keep going. Gritty children keep trying. They love effort. They do not give up when things get difficult. Children with grit will possess the attributes of perseverance, diligence, and self-discipline. Additionally, children with a gritty personality has a growth mindset.

    Having a growth mindset is an important attribute of a gritty child. A child who possesses a growth mindset believes that intelligence is not fixed. A child with a growth mindset believes intelligence can grow and be added upon. Children with growth mindsets are flexible. They can easily adapt to changes and challenges. They do not fear failure. Instead, they view setbacks as stepping stones. Life is full of setbacks, challenges, and changes. Therefore, children with growth mindsets can achieve greater happiness and satisfaction as they are not so hard on themselves.

    Studies have shown that there is a relationship between the way we praise children and the development of a growth mindset. The way parents or teachers praise children affects them. It ties directly to whether children will be persistent in their academics and skills-building or not. Praising children creates a fixed mindset. It causes children to worry about taking on challenging tasks. It also sabotages resilience (Dweck, 2012). Instead, parents should focus on praising children for their process, efforts, and persistence (Dweck, 2012). Parents need to know how to praise their children to effectively motivate them to develop a growth mindset.

    I have pondered on the ideas of grit, a growth mindset, and praise in children. As I ponder on these topics, I also think of ways I can implement these lessons into parenting. It is important for me to teach my children about grit. I want them to be gritty children. However, they do not just become naturally gritty children. I need to teach them. I can teach my children about grit by modeling a gritty personality. Much like emotion coaching, it starts with me. I can also teach my children by encouraging and praising their efforts rather than the outcomes. This will allow them to value the efforts they have put into something. I can also provide supportive feedback for my children.

    I have also learned about the different types of praise I can use to congratulate children. Instead of saying, "Wow. Good job," I could say, "I noticed how long it took you to beautifully color this. Could you tell me more about what you colored?" This provokes an interactive conversation with my child. Also, it gives my child an opportunity to share their work and efforts with me. Praise should focus on children's focus and determination (Smith, 2014). Along with the different types of praise, I learned the difference between descriptive praise, appreciative praise, and evaluative praise. Descriptive praise is acknowledging and giving specific feedback to children about their behaviors and actions. Appreciative praise is expressing gratitude for children's behaviors and actions. Descriptive and appreciative praise gives children valuable feedback; meanwhile, evaluative praise limits children. Evaluative praise is praises like, "Good job," "Great," and "Awesome."

    I hope to implement the things I have learned about grit, growth mindset, and praise onto my children one day. I have been trying to change the way I compliment my younger cousins. It is kind of challenging to not say, "Wow, I love it. You are so good," when my younger cousins show me something they drew. I have been trying to use descriptive praise and giving them more meaningful feedback. It is easier to give evaluative praise; however, I know changing the way I compliment my younger cousins will better prepare me for my own kids.

    It is important for me to teach my future kids about grit and a growth mindset. I think I have a fixed mindset. I am not the best at failures and setbacks. I tend to quit easily when things get difficult. I also tend to not stick with something when it gets hard. I am working on developing a growth mindset. I do not want my children to have a fixed mindset like me. I am determined to use the things I have learned to help my children develop a growth mindset and a gritty attitude. 

Resources

Dweck, C. (2012, September 24). True Grit, Can You Teach Children Character? https://www.nbcnews.com/video/true-grit-can-you-teach-children-character-44432451969 

Smith, T. (2014, March 17). Does teaching kids to get “gritty” help them get ahead? NPR. https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/03/17/290089998/does-teaching-kids-to-get-gritty-help-them-get-ahead